Fast Forward

First let me say I do not believe my life is perfect but I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be with the people I'm suppose to be with. 2018 I'm ending this year with a smile. It was one of my most successful years. I started my business 'Precise Cleaning' in December of 2017 and it grew big fast. I actually had to hire help. I'm so proud of myself and the obstacles I had to face to get to where I am mentally and emotionally. I made some irrational decisions this year but have learned a lot from them too. If you have been following my blogs then you know about the job that I left 2 years ago due to jealousy and hate. I'm the gullible one thinking A Church would love me the way I thought they did. I can still remember the director hugging me and telling me how much she loved me and my family days before. I worked at this place for 10 years and some odd months. I just found the keys to this place in my car and delivered them back. I've had some reach out to me and then again I've had some that I thought would and didn't. I'm okay with those events and have actually put them behind me. I don't regret anything that happened because I'm happier were I am. So lets move on:)

I have two step daughters from my marriage with my husband. I use to call them bonus daughters until one day I decided they were my daughters not by blood but by love. My oldest BD Carmen has had some issues the past couple of years and the doctors and her decided that it would be best for her to live here with her dad and I. That was an adjustment and still is. No regrets. I do hopefully want her and her other family to rekindle their relationships. I don't see nor talk to my youngest BD anymore due to all the events that have taken place. That's okay by me because I know that I did nothing wrong by anyone and I'm able to forgive and let go. I'll always be here for her and hopefully she is living her best life. I posted a blog about people loving their children more than hating their ex well we aren't there yet. I have prayed everyday hoping that one day things could be semi normal for those two children. It breaks my heart. I have children by different men and I couldn't imagine not being there for them emotionally because of my feelings for their dads. 

I'm just going to say this is the absolute truth. I've made mistakes as a wife and my husband as made mistakes too. I like doing life with him. I never base my happiness on him because I'm the only person that can make me happy. He does his best to care for me and our family. Sometimes it's hard and other times it's easy. On the hard days I try hard and on the easy day I try even harder. We have been together for 12 years and it's been tough. Two different people with children from different relationships and one of our own has been challenging. We can fight like animals and wake up like new people. That's what I need. I'm all over the place most of the time and I guess he is okay with that. If he isn't then he is a great actor and needs to be in the movies (lol). I'm flawed, but I try and I love my family with all of my heart. I enjoy being a wife. He has had to also find his place in this family just as I have. We have two business's, a full time and part time job and four kids living in the home. He does his best and I do mine. That's all I can ask for <3 

I'm a mom of a 14 year old girl, 12 year old girl, and a 7 year old boy. These kids need me to be happy and healthy. I took an entire year off from work and loved every minute of it, it just wasn't me. I like working. So not only did I start a little part time gig doing merchandising for a great company, I also started a New Construction cleaning business. The kids had to get adjusted to me working but It was just enough so that I haven't had to miss any school events or trips. We have adjusted well. I have studied love languages and have done my best to make sure those three know I'm here and I love them. My youngest daughter has type 1 diabetes who's dad passed away a couple of years ago. She is a person of her own and has no intentions of changing. My strong willed child. If I could take her T1D away I would in a heart beat. I ache for her but I do not treat her any different than the other two. She is outgoing, athletic, so smart, funny, loving, caring, loyal, etc. My oldest is just a doll. Nothing I can say except those two girls have so much of my personality it's unreal. My little baby boy who is actually 7 lol.. Don't judge he has a special place in my heart. The doctors told me he wouldn't make it a week and would pass due to a disease and actually advised me to terminate my pregnancy. YEAY FREGGIN RIGHT. C'mon not in a million years would I do such a thing and especially to a child me and my husband fought to have after a miscarriage. I love that little boy more than he will ever know. Those three miracle children are meant to be in my life and I wouldn't change any of my decisions for anything. I love being a mom!!

Let me just say that with all I have going on in my life, I try my best to take care of ME!! It's important and I didn't realize that until I finally came to a point to where I had no choice. I love my family, friends, jobs, but most importantly I love me. I have a few medical issues that I have been finally dealing with this year. I procrastinated but me and the VA are working hard to make sure I'm taking care of. The VA is has been wonderful to me. I couldn't ask for better doctors. I'm still not 100 percent but I'm better than I've been since I can remember. I'm hoping after a few more appointments I will be able to start back doing some of the things I love. Let me tell you a little about my business. I normally do not speak about financial things online but I'm proud of myself and my accomplishment. This business has potential to take me soaring, but I have to put in the extra work. Right now I'm not willing to lose time with my children and husband to make it grow any bigger than it is. They are only kids once and I want to soak up all the loving and memories while I can. I did however get the chance to take my family to New York because of the benefits of my business. I'm blessed in life. Not because I have things but because my family. We have grown so close the past couple of years and I like I said before I wouldn't change a thing. I've had the opportunity to help people and keep children that aren't biologically mine (3 children to be exact). It's been rewarding. This I do want to say especially to my enemies I still love you and I hope life is treating you well because hating me isn't hurting my life at all:) I'll continue to grow spiritually. That's something I'm working hard on doing and making sure I'm doing right by me, my husband, my children, family, and friends. 

EVERY NEW BEGINNING COMES FROM SOME OTHER BEGINNINGS END

Here's to another year.. 

Happy New Year

Love your Children more than you hate your Ex!

My opinion about Children and Ex's

I've seen the damage to many times to count:(

If you ask any separated couples that have child(ren) if they love their child(ren) they will say YES! Of course they will say yes for one it's the correct answer and second we would hope it was true. We all love our child(ren), it's nature. We love them, we protect them, and we want them to be healthy, happy, and successful adults. Me and my children's father are not together and haven't been since I was pregnant. I still went over to his moms every Sunday for lunch up until she was about 2 1/2. Sometimes my ex would be there alone, sometimes with a new girlfriend, or not there at all. I knew from the time I found out I was pregnant that if me and the father didn't work out then I would let her figure out her own opinions about him and THEIR relationship. I did just that. Never I have I ever talked bad or downed him in her presence. We went to all family functions and just like before sometimes he was there, there with someone else, or not. I'm not saying I'm a perfect mom because that would just be silly. No one is perfect and the sooner people realize that then maybe they will have the healthy relationships with their children that they desire. We all make mistakes and do things we regret. I know I have done some pretty stupid, petty, and childish things in my time, but when it comes to my kids mental and emotional well being I always try to make the best decision for them! NOT FOR MYSELF! Children are humans too and they have feelings just like adults. It's up to us as parents or guardians to make sure we take those feelings into consideration when making decisions that will ultimately affect them. This is a touchy subject I know because we do have parents who do drugs/stay in jail/abuse kids/etc. I understand those situations but again it's up to us as adults to make sure the child knows that that parent is just making bad decisions and it's our job to protect them. I do not believe that one parent should continuously talk bad about the other parent because that child is 50/50 each parent. So saying you look just like your dad one day and then the next saying how ugly or stupid he is is only hurting the child. Manipulating children, gas lighting children, giving gifts to get them to like you more, with holding from other parent out of spite, or creating jealousy between siblings are all examples of a narcissistic parent. It may not seem noticeable at the time when they are little but as they grow older they may grow resentment toward you, become depressed, and even not be able to have a normal relationship. Parents we can all do better including myself and I'm in no position to judge as we all are trying to do this parenting thing the best we can, but this is avoidable. Even if you hate the ex.... Love your children MORE!

What a year

one of my favorite quotes

A year already! WOW! Its been one hell of a year to say the least. Where does one even find a way to start over and find themselves in a world they have never lived. A STAY AT HOME MOM AND WIFE.. A place I never thought I would get the pleasure of being. Have I enjoyed myself? Heck YES I have!! My work load and calendar have never been so full, even when I was a full time employee. I'm sure this past year if I could have gotten a salary it would have been three figures for sure. It's not been an easy journey finding myself in the midst of trying to figure out what had happened to even put me here. I have to hand it to my husband. He stepped up and took care of his family. Having only one income is very interesting. I have to give God all the credit. Even on my best days I was as faithless as they come.  God is real and so are his blessings. One income and we have had one of the best years yet. One thing that stands out and that I have learned is MONEY IS REPLACEABLE!! It's the root of all evil, and the devil will use it to cause havoc in ones life. I also learned that support doesn't always come from familiar faces. WOW to all the people that were quick to no longer friend me. All I can say is your loss and I'm very thankful that those fake relationships are no longer taking up time in my life. I got to witness my children actually living and being happy. The kids have benefited the most and have enjoyed me staying home. I have been thinking about getting out and doing a little something just for myself. Things aren't always perfect by any means and we have had heartache and struggles this year but the negatives of this year were out weighed greatly by the positives. I have a new perspective of life and how it should be. Spending time with my family has outweighed spending money on them. We have found that we can just sit on the couch laughing and talking and have just as much fun than here rather than being out and about. 



                                                                             

This time last year I was feeling every emotion you could feel all at once and it was very overwhelming. What is the right thing to do when you are feeling this way?  Luckily I had amazing support from my family and friends, lots of patience and the ability to hold myself together. What do you do when everything you have been is no longer who you are? Silence. I stayed Silent because I believed it was the right thing to do. I never thought I was as strong as I am. I wasn't built to tame the tongue or my anger but little did I know that I was built for so much more. I'm so different in so many ways and I'm thankful for it all. This year has been one to remember and I believe I'm exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment. 


I had the opportunity to go places I had never been, do things I have never done, help take care of children that weren't mine, and watch my kids flourish at school and sports. Madison has really blossomed this year with now making straight A's and was elected to participate on The Math Masters team at her school. Kaylee is making A, B Honor Roll, modeling, and trying out for middle school sports. They both are becoming their own and I love who they are. Xander is still his fun loving, tree climbing, no shoe wearing, video playing, monster truck racing, robot fighting, nerf gun war, smart dude. Bonding with those three kids this year made it all worth it. We sold our first home and we moved across the county into a new home. That was one of the biggest transitions for me. I absolutely 100 percent hated leaving my neighborhood and home behind. We have made so many new memories here. This summer I let the kids do a Summer Bucket List and we almost completed everything on the list. Just a few places we visited were Disney, Universal Studios, Sarasota, Lido Beach, Myrtle Beach, Maggie Valley , Savannah, Tybee Island, Sliding Rock, and Lake Lure. It has been an amazing and eventful year. I could go on and on about all the cool things that we have experienced and new things that have happened. God new exactly what he was doing in my life. I can't stress that enough.
                                               


My husband really stepped up and was there to help with my support. The way he handled things were very tactful. He did exactly what he was suppose to do. If I'm going to be honest here I will admit I thought this year would have broke us. I'm usually the strong one and the fixer, but he surprised me. It took a minute for him to find his new place in the family too but he did it and I'm so very proud of him and us. He has had some set backs this year. He too is struggling with some things that have happened but we both continue to do our best to stay strong for each other through the trials.

I haven't stepped back into a church since November of 2016. Not saying that I will never again but my desire for fellowship isn't really back yet. Kaylee attends a church in our local community and she loves it. I still do devotions and pray. I know for a fact GOD has been holding my hand and helping me find my way through. He his the real Hero. 

WORK WORK WORK....
more to come.... lets just say I have 4 contractors as of now..

If I could describe my year
Blessed with Mercy and Grace!



Closing this blog with a huge thanks to ALL who have supported me and stood by me and my family. no one went unnoticed! I have the best of the best in my life and I wouldn't trade anyone <3 

Fridays Thoughts

I believe in "Good". I'm going to say this "The Devil is a liar and yes he does come to kill, steal, and destroy". He doesn't want our tangible things he wants our faith!! No one can make me or cause me to lose my Faith!! My Faith is just that Mine. If in fact the devil does come to kill, then has he used people to kill my interest in putting trust into people, if he comes to steal, has he used people to steal my job, and the joy I got from it, if he comes to destroy then has he used people to destroy the very thing I worked so hard to accomplish and relationships that made me a better me. The devil is in fact a liar and has lost. He lost a long long time ago when Jesus moved the stone from the Grave. The devil lied when he made me think I had been knocked down. I wasn't even really knocked down. I stumbled into a situation that was in fact going to make me able to suit up and make this journey with God stronger! I have witnessed and been through more than many but I still continue to show love, forgiveness, and mercy. I understand now why people don't go to church and its because of all the people who think there job is to judge. All churches have sinners in the seats on Sundays and I know this because the Bible states that we are ALL sinners. Romans is one of my favorite books in the Bible. 

                     LOVE AND FAITH GO TOGETHER; THEY COMPLETE EACH OTHER


The only thing that gets me is when people and I mean people in general; judge, kill, steal, and destroy,  and use Gods name as a means for personal gain and they think they will go unpunished. I will not judge you for your walk because when I stand before God I will not get to answer for you. I have a responsibility and its not judging what you do. Lets go back to the Bible for a quick second. I know I have read the Bible at least three times and I'm pretty sure it states that "if your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you". Is that what we should do. If you follow the Bible as a book of direction or laws then should you follow the entire book and not just what fits your life or what's easy. Just because I didn't grow up in church doesn't mean I'm not familiar with the Bible. The devil has used me for evil. I'm not perfect and I will never claim to be. I try my best and I love with a deep love. I love my family and friends with my all. I may not always be on point or be the best but I do try my best to better myself. The Bible, God, and Faith should not be thrown around on social media to hurt someone. People struggle, if you want to help win people over to God then Love is going to be the best way. Throwing around words and being passive aggressive is not the answer. Be an example. If you are being an example then you will not have to try very hard. I have a friend who believes in a higher power, but doesn't believe in Jesus or my God! I spend a good amount of time with her and I have the honor of calling her my friend. I have never ever tried to make her feel some type of way because of my beliefs. We have debated and discussed the Bible and Christianity a few times but never have I ever made her feel uncomfortable. Would you believe that she called me one Sunday and asked to go to church with me. Her and her sister went with me until I was banned from the Church property because of some accusations. I was banned but you know what the kicker is, the other party got to stay. After the allegations were found to not be true the other member got to come back and not only did they come back they received a standing ovation like some sort of a hero. Did anyone stand up and say you know Church there is another person that was hurt and we should pray for her and her family. Have I received one phone call of an apology. Has anyone contacted me. NO. The devil tried to destroy Gods work in working in an unbelievers life. Do you think that my friend will ever attend church again. I'm going to say NO. I will continue to be the example for her. She has watched how I have handled this and so far I have handled it tactfully and Faithfully. I pray that when I find another place to worship she will have a desire to come with me. Sometimes people make mistakes and sometimes you have to accept the apology you never got, forgive, and move on! I friends have moved on. I may no longer exist to certain people but I have a purpose and I will move mountains. This experience will not define me, it will help refine me. My friend I spoke of earlier says this to me. Your rule is simple right; don't be a douche. Its so true. We have purpose  and it's to LOVE! 
If you need to know what Love really means then you can find it in 1 Corinthians 13:4.  As another friend of mine says all the time on FB "it's time for a #heartcheck" 

A few verses that have helped me

Proverbs 6:16-19 my favorite book
Matthew 6:14-15
Colossians 3:13
Ephesians 4:31-32 another one of my favorite books
Matthew 18:21-22

2 Corinthians 2:5-8
If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent- not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore to reaffirm your love for him.

                            Jesus is still in the miracle working business and he SAVES

Parenting is not a competition

As a mom, one of most worries is am I doing this thing called Parenting right?

  Ladies and Gentleman parenting is not a competition. IF we would spend more time praying for and learning from one another it could make this job a bit more  bearable. I have noticed woman spend entirely to much time downing other woman and not enough time motivating and uplifting them.

Note to self!

If one of my children want to play a sport or join an activity that another child likes then my child WILL get the chance to participate in that activity. This is not a competition between my kid did this or my kid did that FIRST. 

We all should be 100 % focused on our children's well being and happiness and not focused on if you think another parent is "copying you". That is one of the most ridiculous and immature thing I have heard from another parent. EXAMPLE my daughter loves to play basketball (as so does other thousands of girls in this world) so if another child decides she loves basketball and her father or mother signs her up then why in the world would I think those parents copied me. People, we can do better than that for our children and besides what is that teaching them... oh Bob likes baseball and my dad doesn't like Bob's dad so I can't play. Jesus take the wheel. Extracurricular activities are great for children. I also feel that children who do well in school should know the parents are proud of them but we as "adults" we have to remember that some children struggle in school and also need to feel supported by those same parents. We should be able to come together and help each other in times of trials and troubles. This world has become so full of hate and bitterness but the only ones suffering from adult insecurities is our children. I also would like to address the entire population on who's kids have cavities or which kid is in dance or sports or any school club. Every child is unique and each has a different strength. Some children grow up to be perfectly happy successful adults who never participated in any school activity, sport, or club. I'm just saying. Opinions vary and mine is get over it, and be the best parent you can be to each individual child. No child is like another.

Our children need us and need us setting a good example. 

It's a daily struggle and we all hope we are doing it "right" What might be right to me may be wrong to you. Judging and criticizing is not going to change my "right" and make it your "right"

Woman lets lift each other up..

Just a Cruisin

                           Me and my Family set sail on our first cruise March 9, 2016!

VIEW FROM ATLANTIS

Sunset with my Husband

                        WE HAD THE BEST TIME EVER!!

Boat, Ocean, Unlimited FREE food and Ice cream (insert big smile here)= Happy Mom, Dad, and Kids!

Atlantis was our absolute favorite. We played the entire day at the Atlantis resort. The aquariums and water slides were just the greatest. The food was a plus also.

Rick, Kaylee, Madison Atlantis

Xander ATLANTIS 

Freeport was pretty fun, we went to a private beach called Junkanoo Beach and that´s where we spent the majority of the day. We shopped too=) whats a vacation without a little bit of shopping. 

We ported out of Charleston and that was an experience in itself especially with getting our luggage to the ship. Men just walk up to your car and you open the trunk and they grab your luggage and put it onto a cart and you´re just like alrighty then. Getting on the ship wasn't bad but it took about 2 hours. We cruised for 3 full days with our 2 day stops in Nassau and Freeport Bahamas. While Cruising we experienced the entire ship. Casino, Drinks, Karaoke, Game room, Comedy club (twice), Dancing, FOOD, Pictures, Games, and lots of laughs.

Dining Room eating Dinner

The kids met some new friends and went to the clubs provided for them by their ages. Xander had the best time in the waterworks on the top of the ship. Kaylee enjoyed the hot tubs most of the time and exploring the ship with her new friend. Madison had her self a ball with all the ice cream and all swimming her little heart could desire. Me and the Mr. well we had an amazing time just hanging out, talking, dancing, gambling, laughing, and watching the sunset from the back deck every evening. 

I can´t get over how BEAUTIFUL the ocean is in the Bahamas. 

It is an experience I will never forget and I'M very blessed to have got to spend it with my family.

YES we will be cruising every year (hopefully) from now on!