First let me say I do not believe my life is perfect but I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be with the people I'm suppose to be with. 2018 I'm ending this year with a smile. It was one of my most successful years. I started my business 'Precise Cleaning' in December of 2017 and it grew big fast. I actually had to hire help. I'm so proud of myself and the obstacles I had to face to get to where I am mentally and emotionally. I made some irrational decisions this year but have learned a lot from them too. If you have been following my blogs then you know about the job that I left 2 years ago due to jealousy and hate. I'm the gullible one thinking A Church would love me the way I thought they did. I can still remember the director hugging me and telling me how much she loved me and my family days before. I worked at this place for 10 years and some odd months. I just found the keys to this place in my car and delivered them back. I've had some reach out to me and then again I've had some that I thought would and didn't. I'm okay with those events and have actually put them behind me. I don't regret anything that happened because I'm happier were I am. So lets move on:)
I have two step daughters from my marriage with my husband. I use to call them bonus daughters until one day I decided they were my daughters not by blood but by love. My oldest BD Carmen has had some issues the past couple of years and the doctors and her decided that it would be best for her to live here with her dad and I. That was an adjustment and still is. No regrets. I do hopefully want her and her other family to rekindle their relationships. I don't see nor talk to my youngest BD anymore due to all the events that have taken place. That's okay by me because I know that I did nothing wrong by anyone and I'm able to forgive and let go. I'll always be here for her and hopefully she is living her best life. I posted a blog about people loving their children more than hating their ex well we aren't there yet. I have prayed everyday hoping that one day things could be semi normal for those two children. It breaks my heart. I have children by different men and I couldn't imagine not being there for them emotionally because of my feelings for their dads.
I'm just going to say this is the absolute truth. I've made mistakes as a wife and my husband as made mistakes too. I like doing life with him. I never base my happiness on him because I'm the only person that can make me happy. He does his best to care for me and our family. Sometimes it's hard and other times it's easy. On the hard days I try hard and on the easy day I try even harder. We have been together for 12 years and it's been tough. Two different people with children from different relationships and one of our own has been challenging. We can fight like animals and wake up like new people. That's what I need. I'm all over the place most of the time and I guess he is okay with that. If he isn't then he is a great actor and needs to be in the movies (lol). I'm flawed, but I try and I love my family with all of my heart. I enjoy being a wife. He has had to also find his place in this family just as I have. We have two business's, a full time and part time job and four kids living in the home. He does his best and I do mine. That's all I can ask for <3
I'm a mom of a 14 year old girl, 12 year old girl, and a 7 year old boy. These kids need me to be happy and healthy. I took an entire year off from work and loved every minute of it, it just wasn't me. I like working. So not only did I start a little part time gig doing merchandising for a great company, I also started a New Construction cleaning business. The kids had to get adjusted to me working but It was just enough so that I haven't had to miss any school events or trips. We have adjusted well. I have studied love languages and have done my best to make sure those three know I'm here and I love them. My youngest daughter has type 1 diabetes who's dad passed away a couple of years ago. She is a person of her own and has no intentions of changing. My strong willed child. If I could take her T1D away I would in a heart beat. I ache for her but I do not treat her any different than the other two. She is outgoing, athletic, so smart, funny, loving, caring, loyal, etc. My oldest is just a doll. Nothing I can say except those two girls have so much of my personality it's unreal. My little baby boy who is actually 7 lol.. Don't judge he has a special place in my heart. The doctors told me he wouldn't make it a week and would pass due to a disease and actually advised me to terminate my pregnancy. YEAY FREGGIN RIGHT. C'mon not in a million years would I do such a thing and especially to a child me and my husband fought to have after a miscarriage. I love that little boy more than he will ever know. Those three miracle children are meant to be in my life and I wouldn't change any of my decisions for anything. I love being a mom!!
Let me just say that with all I have going on in my life, I try my best to take care of ME!! It's important and I didn't realize that until I finally came to a point to where I had no choice. I love my family, friends, jobs, but most importantly I love me. I have a few medical issues that I have been finally dealing with this year. I procrastinated but me and the VA are working hard to make sure I'm taking care of. The VA is has been wonderful to me. I couldn't ask for better doctors. I'm still not 100 percent but I'm better than I've been since I can remember. I'm hoping after a few more appointments I will be able to start back doing some of the things I love. Let me tell you a little about my business. I normally do not speak about financial things online but I'm proud of myself and my accomplishment. This business has potential to take me soaring, but I have to put in the extra work. Right now I'm not willing to lose time with my children and husband to make it grow any bigger than it is. They are only kids once and I want to soak up all the loving and memories while I can. I did however get the chance to take my family to New York because of the benefits of my business. I'm blessed in life. Not because I have things but because my family. We have grown so close the past couple of years and I like I said before I wouldn't change a thing. I've had the opportunity to help people and keep children that aren't biologically mine (3 children to be exact). It's been rewarding. This I do want to say especially to my enemies I still love you and I hope life is treating you well because hating me isn't hurting my life at all:) I'll continue to grow spiritually. That's something I'm working hard on doing and making sure I'm doing right by me, my husband, my children, family, and friends.
Here's to another year..
Happy New Year
