Love your Children more than you hate your Ex!

My opinion about Children and Ex's

I've seen the damage to many times to count:(

If you ask any separated couples that have child(ren) if they love their child(ren) they will say YES! Of course they will say yes for one it's the correct answer and second we would hope it was true. We all love our child(ren), it's nature. We love them, we protect them, and we want them to be healthy, happy, and successful adults. Me and my children's father are not together and haven't been since I was pregnant. I still went over to his moms every Sunday for lunch up until she was about 2 1/2. Sometimes my ex would be there alone, sometimes with a new girlfriend, or not there at all. I knew from the time I found out I was pregnant that if me and the father didn't work out then I would let her figure out her own opinions about him and THEIR relationship. I did just that. Never I have I ever talked bad or downed him in her presence. We went to all family functions and just like before sometimes he was there, there with someone else, or not. I'm not saying I'm a perfect mom because that would just be silly. No one is perfect and the sooner people realize that then maybe they will have the healthy relationships with their children that they desire. We all make mistakes and do things we regret. I know I have done some pretty stupid, petty, and childish things in my time, but when it comes to my kids mental and emotional well being I always try to make the best decision for them! NOT FOR MYSELF! Children are humans too and they have feelings just like adults. It's up to us as parents or guardians to make sure we take those feelings into consideration when making decisions that will ultimately affect them. This is a touchy subject I know because we do have parents who do drugs/stay in jail/abuse kids/etc. I understand those situations but again it's up to us as adults to make sure the child knows that that parent is just making bad decisions and it's our job to protect them. I do not believe that one parent should continuously talk bad about the other parent because that child is 50/50 each parent. So saying you look just like your dad one day and then the next saying how ugly or stupid he is is only hurting the child. Manipulating children, gas lighting children, giving gifts to get them to like you more, with holding from other parent out of spite, or creating jealousy between siblings are all examples of a narcissistic parent. It may not seem noticeable at the time when they are little but as they grow older they may grow resentment toward you, become depressed, and even not be able to have a normal relationship. Parents we can all do better including myself and I'm in no position to judge as we all are trying to do this parenting thing the best we can, but this is avoidable. Even if you hate the ex.... Love your children MORE!

What a year

one of my favorite quotes

A year already! WOW! Its been one hell of a year to say the least. Where does one even find a way to start over and find themselves in a world they have never lived. A STAY AT HOME MOM AND WIFE.. A place I never thought I would get the pleasure of being. Have I enjoyed myself? Heck YES I have!! My work load and calendar have never been so full, even when I was a full time employee. I'm sure this past year if I could have gotten a salary it would have been three figures for sure. It's not been an easy journey finding myself in the midst of trying to figure out what had happened to even put me here. I have to hand it to my husband. He stepped up and took care of his family. Having only one income is very interesting. I have to give God all the credit. Even on my best days I was as faithless as they come.  God is real and so are his blessings. One income and we have had one of the best years yet. One thing that stands out and that I have learned is MONEY IS REPLACEABLE!! It's the root of all evil, and the devil will use it to cause havoc in ones life. I also learned that support doesn't always come from familiar faces. WOW to all the people that were quick to no longer friend me. All I can say is your loss and I'm very thankful that those fake relationships are no longer taking up time in my life. I got to witness my children actually living and being happy. The kids have benefited the most and have enjoyed me staying home. I have been thinking about getting out and doing a little something just for myself. Things aren't always perfect by any means and we have had heartache and struggles this year but the negatives of this year were out weighed greatly by the positives. I have a new perspective of life and how it should be. Spending time with my family has outweighed spending money on them. We have found that we can just sit on the couch laughing and talking and have just as much fun than here rather than being out and about. 



                                                                             

This time last year I was feeling every emotion you could feel all at once and it was very overwhelming. What is the right thing to do when you are feeling this way?  Luckily I had amazing support from my family and friends, lots of patience and the ability to hold myself together. What do you do when everything you have been is no longer who you are? Silence. I stayed Silent because I believed it was the right thing to do. I never thought I was as strong as I am. I wasn't built to tame the tongue or my anger but little did I know that I was built for so much more. I'm so different in so many ways and I'm thankful for it all. This year has been one to remember and I believe I'm exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment. 


I had the opportunity to go places I had never been, do things I have never done, help take care of children that weren't mine, and watch my kids flourish at school and sports. Madison has really blossomed this year with now making straight A's and was elected to participate on The Math Masters team at her school. Kaylee is making A, B Honor Roll, modeling, and trying out for middle school sports. They both are becoming their own and I love who they are. Xander is still his fun loving, tree climbing, no shoe wearing, video playing, monster truck racing, robot fighting, nerf gun war, smart dude. Bonding with those three kids this year made it all worth it. We sold our first home and we moved across the county into a new home. That was one of the biggest transitions for me. I absolutely 100 percent hated leaving my neighborhood and home behind. We have made so many new memories here. This summer I let the kids do a Summer Bucket List and we almost completed everything on the list. Just a few places we visited were Disney, Universal Studios, Sarasota, Lido Beach, Myrtle Beach, Maggie Valley , Savannah, Tybee Island, Sliding Rock, and Lake Lure. It has been an amazing and eventful year. I could go on and on about all the cool things that we have experienced and new things that have happened. God new exactly what he was doing in my life. I can't stress that enough.
                                               


My husband really stepped up and was there to help with my support. The way he handled things were very tactful. He did exactly what he was suppose to do. If I'm going to be honest here I will admit I thought this year would have broke us. I'm usually the strong one and the fixer, but he surprised me. It took a minute for him to find his new place in the family too but he did it and I'm so very proud of him and us. He has had some set backs this year. He too is struggling with some things that have happened but we both continue to do our best to stay strong for each other through the trials.

I haven't stepped back into a church since November of 2016. Not saying that I will never again but my desire for fellowship isn't really back yet. Kaylee attends a church in our local community and she loves it. I still do devotions and pray. I know for a fact GOD has been holding my hand and helping me find my way through. He his the real Hero. 

WORK WORK WORK....
more to come.... lets just say I have 4 contractors as of now..

If I could describe my year
Blessed with Mercy and Grace!



Closing this blog with a huge thanks to ALL who have supported me and stood by me and my family. no one went unnoticed! I have the best of the best in my life and I wouldn't trade anyone <3